What I know for sure

1. When they ask for an epidural at 1 centimeter, it’s going to be a long night.

2. The only thing more precious than a brand spanking newborn baby is a brand spanking newborn Grandpa.

3. Cafeteria chicken strips and mashed potatoes at 1 AM will rival the Hoover Dam anyday – NOTHING gets past it.

4. An older male obstetrician can be so much cooler and with it than a young female OB. You know, anyone who will discuss the finer points of imports and microbrews in between pushes and hates Bud Lite is a good man.

5. A raging bitch can turn into a goddess – if you give her 3 years or so. Apparently, a nurse CAN learn from telling a laboring woman that she cannot make noise ’cause it will wake folks up and the subsequent verbal bitch slapping that came from saying just that.

6. Seeing a brand new family can make you miss yours more than anything in the world.

7. The best feeling in the world is coming home after a marathon and having your children and your husband climb into bed with you – just because they missed you and want to spend time with you – even if you’re sleeping.

8. Slight shoulder dystocia can be resolved while keeping the perineum intact – but you’ll never forget the sound of those shoulders popping free.

9. A placenta is NOT like a field of dreams – it will come even if you don’t do a damned thing at all. Certain folks would do well to pay attention to this fact.

10. Every time a woman gives birth, she changes the world.