Posts Tagged ‘koan’


Both / And

February 20, 2009

Twenty monks and one nun, who was named Eshun, were practicing meditation with a certain zen master.

Eshun was very pretty even though her head was shaved and her dress plain. Several monks secretly fell in love with her. One of them wrote her a letter, insisting on a private meeting.

Eshun did not reply. The following day the master gave a lecture to the group and when it was over, Eshun arose. Addressing the one who had written her, she said, “If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now.”

It’s almost Spring.  I can see blades of green grass poking brave heads out of the ground, I have some crocus blooming in the side yard, and I can see every branch of every tree turning into a Connect The Dot fantasy – they are covered in the little bumps that will become flowers and leaves.  This is the time of year I come alive.  B mentioned the other night that “it’s like things are finally going to get back to normal – almost as if we hibernate all winter long.”  It’s true.  Soon we will spend nearly as many nights in a tent as we do in our beds, dinner will be late or foregone all together as we play in the yard and build fires in our pit, staying up late to watch the stars, play fetch in the dark, or flashlight tag in the trees.

It’s also a fair thing to state that you’ll probably find me drinking a lot of Shiner Bock and Jim Beam and looking like this:


I used to have a hard time reconciling the part of me that parties like a rock star with the part of me that meditates like a monk.  I used to feel the need to hide one side of me from the other crowd.  In essence, I passed myself notes like the monk in the koan above.

As I am aging and learning and growing and progressing on this journey of life, I’m learning more and more that I do not have to be an Either / Or type of person.  I can, and should, be a Both / And type person.  Life is Both / And.  It is both a joy and a sorrow at times, both a party and a funeral, both easy and hard.  And, apparently, I am a Zen Rock Star.

So here I stand in front of all you saying that I love me and I love all of me enough to do it openly.

Ponder that while I do some yoga and then get drunk.