In other words, KETCHUP!
I’ve thought of a thousand things to title this post, but am unable to decide. Mostly because nearly 100% of the stuff going on is sooooooooooo good and juicy and wonderful and delicious … but the 1% that isn’t good sucks eggs. Actually, it sucks something much more nastay than eggs, but I’m a classy gal. Bwhahahahha. Anyhow, so I’m just gonna spill the ugly before I dance in the awesomeness.
My sister is in jail. Again. A little different this time because she’s actually staying there for awhile. Who knows how long – at least for another week, probably more like a couple of months. I know that most of you don’t even know that I have a sister. I don’t talk about her much. We’re as different as night and day and it’s hardly possible to tell that we came from the same genetic farm, much less the same freaking family tree. She has a blog and some of you readers have found me through her blog, so I guess I’m outing her. But I really don’t feel as though I’m calling her out – I’m sure she’d write about it if she could. She has certainly written about nearly everything else in her life in gritty detail. But even if she wouldn’t want me to write about it, well, too bad. It’s a matter of public record. Anyone in the world could find out about it and frankly, I’m tired of dodging the issue of having a sister who is mentally ill, incredibly irresponsible, totally unable to own up to her full responsibility in life, and selfish as the day is long. I’m tired of being concerned for the well-being of my nieces. I’m tired of all of it. I’m tired of pretending to care a lot when, in actuality, I care very little. You can only be burned so many times before you stop even going within 40 miles of the fire. Having said all of that, it doesn’t make it any easier to imagine her in jail. She’s my sister. She spent Mother’s Day alone in jail, she most likely will be spending her 40th birthday in jail. NO one in my family has ever been in jail – well, for more than a few hours. It’s hard to imagine how she spends her days. It’s hard to think about what she might be thinking and feeling. I love her. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her. How do you stop loving your sister? You don’t. But you stop being sucked in – which I have done. I’m not visiting. I’m not writing. I’m not calling. I’m not going to her court hearings. I sure as hell am not believing a single syllable that comes out of her mouth as long as I live. I’m not doing anything but living with the profound realization that if this doesn’t change her, nothing will. I’m betting that nothing will. This hurts my heart like you wouldn’t believe. Heartbroken ambivalence – is there such a thing?
Moving on the goodies!!
I just got back from the gym. Can I just say how much I love that gym? Holy crap. I think I somehow got married to a TreadClimber and also managed to get the Nautilus Delt machine deported, but other than that, it was a great day! I could seriously work out there 3x a day. Alas, I shall wait until tomorrow. I love the gym. OHHHHHHH how I love the gym. Must get a one piece bathing suit — cannot really do laps comfortably in a bikini. I also need yet another water bottle. I’m just not pleased with mine. I think this afternoon I’m gonna sew myself up a funky gym bag. SCORE!
B decided that the 70 some odd channels we had on TV wasn’t enough. Well, that and we both decided that we loath Mediacom with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. So we switched to Dish. Now, let me tell you, I thought we’d be getting the 100 channels. NOPE. B decides that we need 250 channels PLUS a zillion and twelve satellite radio channels. I decided that we need the DVR (TiVo.) SO now I have a zillion channels that I can watch at any time. I can pause the TV to go pee and not miss a single thing! And I have to say the satellite music stuff rocks. Did you know that there is a channel that’s nothing but Elvis 24/7? I shit you not. Same for Sinatra. Of course, the one that gets the most use is the Grateful Dead channel. Oh yes. My new favorite number is 6032. SCORE!
If you’re a regular reader, you know that I’ve started pimpin’ out my friend, Stacie. She recently opened this fly studio downtown (Corner of 9th and Broadway for you locals) and invited Duck and Stealth to come play so she could figure out the lighting in her new digs. Let me tell you – this woman blew me away. FOR REALS. We had the best time evah evah evah evah. She took some amazing pictures – I cannot wait to see them all. Here’s a little preview:
Please, ya’ll, go to Stacie’s site and check out all her goodies. She travels, folks. And she’s wicked fun and thinks I’m da bomb. What are you waiting for?? CALL HER AND SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY!! I’ll wait….
I’ve been craving a steak for months. This is bizarre because, in my 32 years of life, I’ve never ever wanted a steak. Suddenly I can think of damned near nothing else. So B and I are gonna go get me a steak tonight. The kids are gone (woot) and he’s off, so we’re gonna go have a little fun.
Speaking of, what the hell am I still doing here on the puter?
later taters.
Windows of My Mind 