I stumbled across a great Unschooling Dad’s blog the other day and that, in turn, led me to find The Daily Groove.  Check out today’s Groove:

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: The Sticky Speedometer ::

Some years ago, my car’s speedometer developed
a case of sporadic “stickiness.”

The first time it stuck I didn’t know it. I was
driving on a freeway, faithfully checking the
speedometer at regular intervals, and I believed
it was “right” even though my actual speed was
gradually increasing!

** It didn’t occur to me to question the
speedometer’s “authority.” **

Eventually the growing difference between what it was
telling me and the *feeling* of my actual speed made
me realize that the speedometer was stuck — that I’d
have to start relying on my *inner* guidance.

It was disconcerting at first, because I’d always
relied on the external authority, but before too long
I got pretty good at sensing whether I was going too
fast or slow. . . .

Today, let your feelings reveal and replace your
“sticky speedometers” — beliefs, expectations, and
rules that aren’t serving you.

When something looks right but *feels* wrong, be
willing to question even the unquestionable. For
progressive parents, some of the stickiest
speedometers are forms of “parental correctness”
that started as brilliant ideas.

http://dailygroove.net/speedometer

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Pretty darn awesome stuff, eh?  I know my speedometer gets stuck — a lot!

So I get Groovin’ in my inbox every morning.  It helps so much!  Between that, a daily Soulful Living reading, an amazing Unschooling list serve, an online Al-Anon group, and my daily CAL readings, I finally feel like I’m in my own groove with the support and encouragement to continue groovin’ on.

If you like what you read above, consider joining The Daily Groove.  It costs nothing, won’t spam you, and it provides a brief few moments a day to reset your inner parent.  Completely worth it.  Find out more or subscribe  here.

I continue on the path of Radical Unschooling.  Sometimes I really miss the mark.  Sometimes you’d think that I managed to go from RU Parent to Professor Snape in one breath.  Yeah, I’m human and fallible.  It happens.

All things work the same way for me: I find something that really clicks, that I really get and appreciate, and that I really love and I work it for awhile until it starts working for me and then I abandon it.  See, human.  Having realized that I had gotten off the RU path (and, frankly, the Al-Anon path and a few other paths …) I jumped back on with both feet this past week and have, of course, gained peace and insight and excitement and wonder and passion and zeal.

I was tooling around online this morning and came across something that put my thought processes into a blender.  What came out was a delicious smoothie of hope, renewed commitment, and deeper understanding of myself,  my family, my picture of a happy home.  It’s really really really good stuff.  Check it out!

When your partner of nearly a decade says, “For what it’s worth, I still think you’re hot,” what does it mean, exactly?

He still thinks I’m hot … even though no one else does?

He still thinks I’m hot … even though I’m not hot?

He still thinks I’m hot … for a mother?

He still thinks I’m hot … for being ancient?

He still thinks I’m hot … and I have past the date of freshness?

He still thinks I’m hot … and I really really am?

He still thinks I’m hot … as if it matters?

He still thinks I’m hot … even though he sees me with his heart mostly.

He still thinks I’m hot … even though I’m a ice princess?

He still thinks I’m hot … even when I’m freezing?

Hard to tell, these “compliments” of his.  But I’ll take it, none the less.

Next time, B (and all others who give these kind of compliments,) just be clear.  Else you might hear us women say, “I want to screw you 6 ways from Sunday.  Go figure.”

I have fucked up the chance for swimming in the pool today by adding too much chlorine. Boooooo Hissssss. I know I know.

In order to save face and avoid the wrath of my water deprived children, I’m making a yummy dinner.

It’s the next best thing to doing laps on the beads.

Damned good thing, too, ’cause I’m not even close to Catholic.

I took the boys to the dentist this morning for their 6 month check up.  This is always a nerve wracking mess for me.  Unfortunately, bad dental health is in my DNA.  We brush, we floss, we rinse, and still we rot and decay and all that crap.  By the time Duck was 7, he’d had 6 root canals.  Before Stealth turned 6, he’d had a tooth pulled.  And let me tell you - none of my kids took bottles of anything other than breastmilk and, once they were old enough, cows milk if I was gone and neither of them ever once took a bottle to bed.  Ever.  So it’s not bottle mouth - just crappy genes.  Needless to say, going to the dentist is anxiety inducing for me - the kids, on the other hand, LOVE going.  Dentist is an awesome guy, his office manager is even more awesome and, as Duck always likes to remind me, “They have NITROUS!”

So we go this morning and I was THRILLED to find out that now for 2 visits in a row, neither kid had any cavities! NONE.  Zippo.  Nada.  Zilch.  WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!

Duck is ahead of his game for tooth loss - he has lost 8 and has 2 more that will be out by Christmas.  Stealth is on the road to losing his first two, also due out by Christmas.  We were excited to look at the x-rays and see the new teeth sitting there right under their current teeth - kind of like being in on a secret or something.  And, of course, it was a party while we were there - have I said how much I LOVE my kids dentist?  Kind of makes me sad that we won’t see them again until January.

Kind of.

]]> http://mamakohl.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/sweet-teefs/feed/ mamakohl http://mamakohl.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/yay-3/ http://mamakohl.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/yay-3/#comments Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:30:27 +0000 mamakohl http://mamakohl.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/yay-3/

WordPress now has a mobile site!! I can post from my iTouch so much more easily now. Thanks WordPress dudes.

There’s a little known fact about me that sometimes rules my entire life - I have extreme hosting anxiety. I mean insane hosting anxiety. I’ll never forget Stealth’s 1st birthday party here at the house. I called in reinforcements to help set up the cake, etc., while I lemon oiled the cabinets and baseboards. I will never forget my mother saying, “It’s good enough,” and me screaming, “GOOD ENOUGH IS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH, MOTHER!!” The first time my father came to visit and meet B, I didn’t sleep at all the night before because I was up cleaning grout with a toothbrush. Don’t even ask me what I’m like when B’s boss drops by…

I have done several things in attempt to get this under control. I make lists - countless lists - detailing what needs to be done, what needs to be bought, what needs to be cleaned, what needs to be thrown away, what needs to be polished, what needs to be hidden, etc. I plan, I organize, and I attack. I realize that folks most likely won’t notice the smudge behind the door that won’t budge or the fact that there are only 8 clean, folded towels in the bathroom when there should be 10 to fill the space evenly, but I also realize that should anyone ever notice these things and comment on it, I might just drop dead on the spot. Anything could happen - you just never know.

I’ve spent the last 5 hours scrubbing my house in anticipation for company that is coming - well, if you call my best friend, JP, company! In the 9 years that we’ve been parents (pregnancy included,) we’ve never spent more than 2 hours together without men or children. INJUSTICE! I have taken the kids to her house multiple times and stayed over night (2 women, 5 kids) while leaving our men to go camping or hiking or plumbing or butt scratching or whatever they do, but we’ve never had time to ourselves. Tomorrow night, it all changes. B is taking my kids to her house, she is coming here. We’ll be having 24 uninterrupted hours of woman time! WOOT!

Pretty damned exciting, eh? Yeah, well, it sparked my anxiety and all I’ve been able to do for the last 3 days is make lists and prepare. Today I have dusted every surface of my house, including vacuuming each and every ceiling fan. I have polished glass, scrubbed toilets and showers, washed shower curtains, cleaned baseboards. I have vacuumed the upholstered furniture (even removing the pads and getting all the gunk out from between the cracks.) I have swept, vac’d, and mopped the entire upstairs with Murphy’s Oil Soap so it’s clean and smells yummy. I’ve obsessed over my cabinets in the kitchen. I have cleaned windows, my microwave, my oven and mud room and the inside of my fridge. I have already packed the kids’ suitcase - needing only to add toothbrushes tomorrow. All that’s left to do tomorrow is to strip my bed and wash each and every layer - from mattress pad to duvet. Makes me wish I had two washing machines.

I don’t know why I’m like this, I only know that I am. I also know that I’m not alone - lots of people have this anxiety that expresses itself differently. I know of one person who copes by obsessing over beverages. At any given point, she will spend $200 on beverages because she’s afraid someone will want something to drink and she won’t have what they want. Ha! At least my compulsion is cheaper. Regardless of what malfunction in my brain makes me tick like this, it’s how I am, how I’ve been for ages, how I most likely will always be. I suspect there are worse things. I could be a total slob! <<<<Shudder>>>>

I’m going to try to relax and not obsess anymore for this visit. I’m granting myself my own little Independence Day - I hereby declare myself independent from my dust cloth and mop. Sweet Elvis on Velvet, I hope it works. Have a great holiday, folks! Blow some stuff up, be grateful to be free, and never ever comment my baseboards or you might see some real fireworks - I’ve heard a conniption fit bares a striking resemblance.