How the garden grows …

Yeah, I didn’t plant anything this year other than optimism, hope, peace, and Zen. Lots and lots of Zen. But that’s why I’ve been busy and not writing so much … my garden is growing.

Not that my current song choice fits the bill … You’re So Vain by Carly Simon. Eh well, whatever. Moving on …

First and foremost — I have lots of friends who are dealing with some serious flooding. I get email or phone updates nearly daily on what is going on just slightly East of me. Man, ya’ll, I’m thinking of you, I’m feeling you. I’ve lived through 2 really fierce floods, one more insane than the other, and lemme tell you … it was gnarly. My boyfriend at the time lost his house. I remember being on the phone with him as the water rose up from his floor grates. I remember spending months cleaning up, renovating. I remember being pissed off at FEMA even then. I was 17 that summer – one of the most pivotal summers of my life – and I’ll never forget driving through the river that had made it waayyyyyyyyyyy past it’s banks and listening to Led Zeppelin’s When the Levee Breaks with a middle finger up on one hand a joint in the other. Let me tell you — there are much much much worse ways to cope. So to all you folks who are sand baggin’ and moving to higher ground, I hear you and this one’s for you …

Moving on…

My birthday was back in April — months ago — and just today I finally got my real present. Yep, today my gym membership became official. Now, don’t get me wrong … I’ve been going the the gym religiously since the middle of May. Just happens that, as always, B and i happen to know the right people (how in the hell does that always happen???? Okay .. don’t question it, I know I know I know,) and I’ve been going for free on a “Guest Pass” for over a month. In fact, the first time I went, they already knew who I was, expected my arrival, and have greeted me by name each and every time I walk through the doors. Having said that, however, I have known that I was getting a freebie and felt guilty as all hell. I have spoken many times about paying them retroactively only to be shunned and laughed out of the office. Okay fine. BUT, my friends, today I have the official membership card. Today it’s real. Today I can stop mooching. WOOT! Know what that means? GUEST PASS, baby!!! Yep, DDFF, get thyself ready, Ma’am. We’re gonna bang some shit out. When is good for you?

Even better gym news — I’ve been going to the south location (miles and miles from my house) ’cause it’s where the guest membership was given and I’ve fallen in love with that place. I adore it. But sometimes I get frustrated because it’s such a haul to get myself there. I learned today, however, that they are building a super duper fancayyyyyy location closer to me … and the membership transfers! Yeah, baby!

We bought a pool yesterday. Nothing terribly fancy, of course, but large enough and deep enough for me to float quite happily on a pool lounger with a drink in my hand, deep enough to work on my abs using water resistance, and fun enough to get my kids outta the house during the long hot days that await us. We set it up Sunday and it’s gonna require a lot of work. We have a HUGE backyard, but not a square meter of it is level. Say a prayer and send bourbon. JP, DDFF, JFL, HGP, Hope, Stacie: come on over. You provide beverage, I provide pool. Deal?

Stealth is a ninja. Duck is a NOnja. Ask them about the difference – it will enrich your life.

There was so much more I wanted to write about, but the backyard is calling me. I don’t know how to be inside during the summer. If you have any ideas, let me know. Until then, bottoms up, eat a burger for me, don’t forget the corn on the cob, and put extra ice in my lemonade. Summer is too short to be stingy!

PS — there’s a new page up there that will change FREQUENTLY. Grab your inner Richard Dawson and participate!